Did you know that it was a time (and maybe still is) when taking too many selfies and saying “Happy birthday!” too often can be a problem?
Although this “trend” has calmed down, there was a time when it was fashionable to blame those who take selfies. Countless studies, scientific and psychological explanations were conducted to ultimately point fingers at selfie-takers.
Surely, they have some frustrations, maybe they don’t love themselves enough, or they are narcissistic.
I analyzed my Facebook and Instagram profiles, not because I felt guilty about anything, but because I wanted to understand my own behavior. I’m fine with Facebook, but I have quite a few selfies on Instagram.
And even though I emphasize that I don’t have friends (real or social media) who would judge me, I tried to figure out why I post so many selfies on Instagram.
I don’t know why others post selfies on Instagram, and I don’t remember the exact conclusions of those studies, but I know for sure that my reasons for posting selfies are very “healthy.”
I thought my hair looked good. I was happy for various reasons, and that’s how I wanted to express my joy. I was sad for various reasons, and that’s how I wanted to encourage myself. I marked a transition to a better state. I left behind a life experience. I welcomed a new life experience with joy. I fell in love. I let go of that love. I resumed that love. I decided that, no matter what happens, I deserve love and deserve the best in the world. It was just an ordinary day. It was a too happy day to let it pass by, anyway.
I was ready to say to myself, “Well done, Marina, you did everything you could, and you did it very well!”
All these reasons came to my mind randomly, and then I smiled and said to myself, “Yes, it was a good thing that I took and posted so many selfies.”
I’m not a psychologist, therapist, psychotherapist, or facilitator (although, probably, to some extent, we all are a little bit of these at some point), I don’t have studies in this field, maybe experts would find hidden (usually negative) motives behind my beautiful reasons mentioned above.
Yes, but why should we do this?!
It’s a pity that there are no studies about this: how some studies or simply malicious opinions can hinder an action that comes from the heart and makes us feel good.
The same goes for saying “Happy birthday!” or “Happy name day!” too often!
From this point of view (and many others), I was born under a lucky star.
My name is Marina: in 1983, my parents chose this name thinking of St. Mary, so it comes from Maria. Therefore, August 15th and September 8th are my name days.
But some time ago, I discovered that in the calendar, there is also St. Marina – on July 17th. My day, again! J
And of course, we must add the date of birth, May 11th.
Well, I’m in a continuous celebration.
However, over time, I discovered that people shy away, feel embarrassed, or uncomfortable either when someone says “happy birthday” to them or when they say it to others.
“But do you celebrate St. Marina or St. Mary? Decide!” (but why should I choose??!).
“Marina surely doesn’t come from Maria.”
“August 15th is a sad day, it’s not celebrated, we don’t say ‘happy birthday'” (I open a parenthesis here and say that in this “religious” world, the “assumption” of a saint – meaning their passage into the Kingdom of Heaven, as it says in the Bible, cannot be an unhappy event, but well, let’s move on).
“Well, I didn’t say ‘happy birthday’ on the 15th, why should I say it on the 8th?” J) (this is somewhat true, I admit, but it still doesn’t sound good).
These two situations have a common denominator: we don’t allow ourselves (and others) to be happy, to celebrate, to make life a celebration.
One day I was thinking… many of us have faced less happy events. Many of them may be unknown to colleagues, friends, and maybe even family. And then, even though healing and that “healing pill” was precisely this: to experience extreme happiness, sometimes exaggerated (maybe even false until we could truly experience it), we delved deeper into sadness.
We got used to believing that we have the right to be happy only at big, important events, although I don’t know who categorizes them as such.
The idea is that these super happy, super big events never come suddenly. I believe they always follow small joys.
And so, by denying a selfie, denying a “happy birthday,” refusing a new beginning or something that could bring joy to our souls, we sink even deeper into that sadness that is no longer relevant and often is not even ours (anymore).
Despite all this, we can always shout “plot twist” and change our perspective.
Therefore … here’s to more selfies and more “Happy birthdays!”
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